COFFEE, LAPTOP AND MRS GOSSIP!

I am sitting here in anticipation for the waiter to bring my bottomless coffee; yes I intend to stay here for awhile. There has been a mix up and our waiter is now no longer our waiter.

Ah my coffee has arrived and I stare at the swirling black pit of muck. Pondering on how best to drown myself in my bottomless coffee I come to the realization that the lady next to me is slurping her coffee in the most annoying way possible. Can this get any worse?

I have chosen the best and probably the worst time to come and sit in a coffee shop to ‘relax’ and enjoy a cup of boere troos.

The coffee shop (protecting their name), my current location is turning out to be pack to the masses. I am not the only one who is observing the weird and wonderful people of our very diverse country. Did I mention it is lunchtime? (Yes, kicking myself that I have chosen this place now). The lady across from me is licking her spoon with great expectation... MMM wondering what is going through her mind. Ok ok lets get this back on track.

Just as I thought I would be save and be spared of any children that will disrupt us, she walks in… DUM DUM DUM DUUUM. The peace and quite (which is non-existing in here) is now gone!

Think the waiter wants us to go as he just brought the bill. Think we are making them nervous.

Fashion sense is not a thing that you want me to get started on. I’m not a guru but I don’t get how people can go out of there homes in the morning looking the way they do. They waiter is staring at me as if I’m an escaped convict. She should rather attend to her unattended garden bush hair style of hers. Can it be called a style?

Shame the one waiter is grovelling wonder what he has done wrong. It’s nice to see that I am not the only one that looks ready to drown them in the cup in front of me. I wonder if they are really suicidal or if it is just that that she is really tired or it might just be that she is old and have enough wrinkles to make a world map.

They man next to us is clearly over enthused about something as he is talking animatedly and over articulating his linguistics. The topic is getting a bit heated… Oh they are talking about religion…

Some people at my table must really learn not to speak so loud she is making people stare at us even more.

I love the fact that people start civilized and end up being barbaric. The people at one of the tables started to eat with knives and forks but it seems like they gave it up as a bad job and they are now going back to Neanderthal roots and stuffing their faces using their hands.

I wonder how many people are and have looked at me while I was “minding my own business” and judged me on what I do... Somehow I feel justified and will be ruthless from this point on. (Have I been nice then before this point?) It is strange that one is very judgemental and critical and it seems very negative. But it is an observation… it should be objective but one makes it so subjective.

Here goes coffee number two. Shame the people next to me is still living in the 90’s as they have a blockia. They looked like a very trendy couple but... MAKE UP… sorry the lady has got so much makeup on it looks like she needs to chisel it off in the evening. It looks like her base is polyfiller.

Our waiter is so pretentious. Sorry to say but I can’t remember his name. But I think its got a click to it.

My taste is apparently very different from Simone’s. She thinks a girl in the group that just walked in is gorgeous. I THINK SHE LOOKS LIKE SPRINGBOK obviously without the horns.

Oh here goes the fashion again WHY SHOP WITH YOUR GYM CLOTHES. Shame the poor man next to us might have a speech problem He makes weird sounds. Sounds like a goat. He is complaining about every thing!

More and more people are entering the already filled coffee shop. Oh the business meeting is about to start at table 27. I’m definitely going to eavesdrop on this. Or they are just here to have lunch.

Oh the people that had the bloakia actually have a very high tech phone… my bad. It’s the table next to them that have the primitive technology. Wonder it they know what the wheel is.

The old man that sound like a goat is staring at me...I am freaking out. Just stare at someone else… Now I know how people must feel with me staring at them.

Quick question why do coffee shops have umbrellas in the shop? Are they expecting massive rain or are they expecting, Galileo, the man hanging from the ceiling, will let his bladder get the better of him and shower us with a bout of yellowish rain? They are clearly not superstitious.

Our waiter is referred to as the” Rasta” man... His hair isn’t that bad... can you say lice? Just joking. Someone has stated that now a day you get special shampoo for it. So what happened to the vinegar and beer mixture? Now I know what I am going to get some people for Christmas. NOOO know I see everyone scratching there heads. Have to admit that some of them have got that confused dumbstruck look I normally have in class. Maybe they are thinking... Won’t say what I think during those periods might just offend people. LIKE I CARE!

MY sister has just joined us. Here starts the fun. Well have to go soon so will stop. The stupid goat man is making remarks because my sister got coffee before him. She actually called to order you stupid knob. Just choke on your toast!!!!